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An Interview With Terry Hansen
One of the people Michael Connelly dedicated Blood Work to is Terrell Hansen, a friend of his for many years and the inspiration behind the heart transplant story line in the book. Terry received his heart transplant on Valentine's Day 1993 — the best Valentine he's ever received. He shared with Michael the physical and emotional changes the transplant brought to his life. Those conversations allowed Michael to create a completely convincing character in Terry McCaleb. Terry Hansen passed away on January 2, 2007 but in 1998, Terry was kind enough to allow us to interview him for this web site to give us more information about the organ donor process.
Question: Terry, could you give some background info on yourself: what you do, where you live, how old you were at the time of your heart transplant, etc.
Terry Hansen:
Engineer now retired. I live in Garden Grove and have lived in California for over 35 years now. Moved here from Kansas. I'm now 57 and had the transplant at 51.
Q:
How long did you wait for the donor heart?
TH: One year. However I knew a year before that, that I would need a transplant.
Q: Were you told anything about your donor?
TH:
All I was told was it was an 18 year old girl. Two years later I found out a little more, that she had been killed in an auto accident.
Q: In Blood Work, the character Terry McCaleb meets
the sister and son of his heart donor. Is there any contact between your donor's family and you?
TH:
None. I could have written a note and the hospital would have edited it and sent it on to the family had I wanted to. Some people do that and others don't. I felt more comfort in leaving it alone for their sake.
Q: Does knowledge help or hinder the whole process?
TH:
I'm not sure. I think that if you had the donor's family in your life it would make the process more painful and uncomfortable as you would try to live a life other than your own. For me I feel that I have to live a life that is my own and do what is right for me.
Q: Michael has said in many interviews that he is interested in survival guilt — the guilt people feel knowing someone had to die so that they could survive. Is that normal with transplant patients?
TH:
I think that anytime someone lives and someone dies you will have that feeling. A plane crashes, two people sitting side by side, one lives the other walks away. You would go through life wondering why. I died once and was gone for several minutes. I stood before God yet I'm still here, why? It just wasn't in his plans for me at the time, is just as good an answer as anything I've been able to come up with yet. You could go crazy trying to find the answer to that question.
Q: Did you experience it?
TH:
In some ways yes. It is hard to explain. You know you're alive and someone had to die for that to happen. Did God have more use for me here or did he have more use for her someplace else? Which one of us served the greater purpose?
Q: How do you deal with that and remain focused on getting healthy?
TH:
First of all you can't. You have to want to get well for yourself. The process is long and hard and at times you're not sure your going to make it or even if you want to. If you want to you will, if you want to roll over and die you will. You have to want to survive. Not just because he is a friend, but it takes people like the Mikes of the world to help you through it all.
Q: Do you feel that the person who died is alive inside you now? And do you ever feel what she might feel?
TH:
There have been many reports about people who received an organ from a donor who took on some of their dislikes as well as likes. One man reported he never liked chocolate, after the transplant he did. Later he found that the donor loved the stuff and could never get enough. Another lady hated motorcycles, yet after the transplant she bought one. Her donor was killed on a motorcycle and had loved them. There has never been any kind of organ memory that can be proven. These people went out of their way to find out all they could about the donor. Maybe in doing so they took on these likes and dislikes as a way to feel closer to the person who died so they could live. I know nothing about my donor, yet there are times I feel strange and have done strange things that go against the way I have lived my life. I once for no reason at all just got up and drove across the U.S. to look back in time to a life long gone. Why? I sometimes get a craving for something yet when I get it and eat it, it doesn't taste good. Are these things organ memories? Even I have no idea.
Q: In Blood Work, Michael details the numerous medical tests, procedures, check ups, pills, temperatures, etc., that this character goes through after the transplant. Was he
accurate? And does that process get easier in time?
TH:
Today when I have a friend tell me they are going to have some medical test performed and they are a little scared, all I can tell them is, "Been there, done that, it's a walk in the park so don't worry." Seems that every test that could ever be performed I've had. Your life changes. I once would wake, go to the bathroom, shower, shave, get dressed and face a new day. Suddenly it was be thankful you woke, check blood pressure, check temperature, eat something, take 40 pills, then carry on with the old routine. Today several years later the only difference is the number of pills each day. The number is now down to about 40 pills a day.
Q: What would you like people to know about the organ donor process?
TH:
I once heard a story from a lady who had a transplant and told of people who would shun her as she had the parts from someone else inside her body. Seems they felt that you couldn't go before God unless you had all your organs. They felt that because she had taken these organs she had prevented someone from going to heaven. This worried her a great deal and she felt guilty because of it. I could never figure this one out. I would think that as a human being, should something ever happen to a loved one, and I had to make the decision about having organs removed from a loved one so someone else could have the gift of life, it would be like fathering a new life. I would want someone to have that gift. To me if you ever wanted to play God, being an organ donor would be one way of doing just that, giving life to some one who other wise would never have the chance to live life to its fullest. I see too many organs going away that could be used to further the life of someone else. I stood before God once, he did not check me over to see to it that I had all my parts.
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If you would like further information about the organ donor process, or want to know how to become an organ donor, than take a look at these web sites:
Transweb
National Transplant Assistance Fund
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